Rage Is an emotion that is best kept locked away, never to surface and hit the world with the force of a thousand tornados to destroy all relationships in its path.
The few times I’ve let rage take over have whole heartedly changed the way I am perceived by people whom I didn’t think could ever see me as that person the Rage caused me to be.
Sparing the details, all I can say is that the one thing that truly brings out that demon from within me is the act of betrayal. I have experienced betrayal in its entirety ,and as justifiable as the situation may have been in causing such anger to arise , the words that came out of my mouth can never be taken back and for that I am truly ashamed.
Too ashamed to even post the actual words that were said, but what I will share is that these words were not said to my own flesh and blood or to someone I loved dearly. Quite the opposite, this was someone who at the time I could admit I despised. What I didn’t think through though, before I verbally mutilated this person, was the fact that so many people that I did love and including some of my own flesh and blood DID love this person and DID truly care for this person.
In my blind outburst of Rage towards this one enemy of mine, I managed to severely damage multiple relationships that I valued and respected. This was about 5 years ago and I am still suffering the guilt and loss of these loved ones whom I indirectly offended with my anger.
Five years later I will be having a reunion with these long lost loved ones for the holidays because they have finally decided to move on and try to forgive the past. Unfortunately, no matter how much I apologize or how sincere their forgiveness may be, I will forever be tainted in their perception as this person the Rage caused me to be.